While I was in the shitter, I thought about your monetary situation, which is also in the shitter

My boss:
also i'm really embarrassed but i'm not sure i understood your request for a vacation
i thought you had asked for the week off?
but then you kept saying you could work a few days, and i didn't know if that was because you felt guilty or because you need the money
if the latter, you are absolutely welcome to work a few days
next week
totally up to you
makes no difference to me

Me:
oh ok i think i should be alright next week on my end
but if you find that there's suddenly a ton of work totally let me know

My boss:
ok, i didn't mean to force you into one-week retirement!

Me:
haha no definitely not

My boss:
i think the my understanding of it just snowballed in a weird way because of IM or something
but when i was in the bathroom just now, for unrelated reasons it occurred to me that maybe your offers had to do with money